I feel myself losing grip
Grip of life
I'm living in vain
Feeling insane
All the dispare
Making me impared
Having you next to me
Tears me apart
I have to be liquidized
In order to me sterolized
From the pain
In order to become sane
All the memories dance through my head
Making me wish I were dead
I cant think a normal thought
Or dream a normal dream
I'm slowly falling to the end
A kiss for you I do send .....

Hiya everyone. Yeah I'm so gonna be streching before practice and games. What a boring day, works gonna be hella fun tonight. I think that she's got me on the counter. Fun fun. Not really though. Well atleast its only a couple hours. My kids were pests today. Then again everyday they are. But I guess there just kids. Very extra destructive lately though. But whatever. Yay for tomorrow night. It sux that I have to run to Neenah but I guess its worth the trip to see Josh. Talked to friend last night bout a couple things. Helped out a little. Well helped sort some of it. Well I gotta get motivated. See ya

I have to write
It doesnt matter what
Somewhere along the way
I must of gone the wrong way
I tired to scream
But no one heard me
I tried to cry
But the tears wouldnt come
I guess it doesnt really matter
The thoughts come in bursts
Then slowly slip away
I try to contian them
Sort through them
Make sense of them
But nothing makes sense
I slide through the days
With a smile painted on my face
Consuming everything
Feeling helpless and alone
Sometimes I hope
That someone can hear me .....

Its been along time since I've written any new poetry. It's hard sometimes to keep all these thoughts to myself, its harder to share them though. Haha I make no sense. As usual. When I try to talk nothing comes out right. If I cant make sense of it how can anyone else. How does that saying go?.... I dont remember. Our game sucked today. We lost 18-4. Hopefully our last game wasnt the only one were gonna win. My legs are sore. Thats what I get for not streching before practice. Oh well, lesson learned. I miss Josh. I've been really thinking about moving. A change would be good, on the other hand i dont want to end up doing something I might later regret. I really like him obviously but I dont want to... I dont know... overwhelm him with my kids and all. My family alone is something to be desired. Not that i dont love them or anything. I'm sleepy. I think that I overslept today. Then again I think that every Sunday. If someone wouldnt tell me to keep going back to sleep everytime I'm there, considering we dont see near enough of each other.

So beautiful are your eyes
Thay make me melt into you
So soft is your hair
As I run my fingers though
So warm is your body
Lying next to mine
So soothing is your voice
As you try to comfort me
So gentle is your touch
As you caress my flesh
So sweet is your kiss
Lips pressed up against mine .....

It is the pain that I fear
Hold me, keep me near
So many thoughts running through my head
You cant change whats already been said
When I'm wrapped up in you
I feel like the age two
Now I see exactly what you meant
Keep me here and I'll stay content

Hiya people. My legs feeling better. Hooray! I'm gald for that. Just got the kids nested for the night. Shhh... listen. Nothing! Quietness. I already miss Josh. This sux. Boo for living far away. Well not all that far, only like forty miles but with gas being like it is... and what is up with that. Gas prices totally suck. Yay for Pirates of the Caribbean! Sorry, kinda have a thing for pirates. Dont ask... dont know. Its the third one I think. Idk, I liked it and all but I think the first one was the best. But you gotta admit, both Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom make pretty hott pirates. My puter is being all tarded again. Damn thing. Im bored, blah blah blah. I so would rather be doing.... tee hee hee. Nevermind. So its been pointed out to me... ah hmm.... that maybe I've been searching for someone all along. Ive been thinking about it all day. Maybe I have been but is that such a bad thing. I mean after all, I have my kids to look out for. Not that I have a problem being a single parent but it can be damn hard. So maybe I have been looking but its not like I'm gonna settle for anybody. That person still has to MAKE me like them. *giggles*

Hold me so close
And never let go
Feel my heart beating
Chest to chest
Whisper all the things to me
That make me smile
Caress my flesh
Taste my lips
Run your fingers through my hair
And down the nape of my neck
Make me forget my pain
My worries and my fears
When I leave in your dreams
In the night see my face
And through the day think of me
And when your done
Set me free ......

I'm not looking forward to work. Not gonna be fun at all. My thigh has been killing me all day. Haha everytime I look at it I think to myself, "Its just a flesh wound." I dont remember what movie I picked that up from but I like it. Really its not. Its icky looking. I wish it would just go away. What a fucked up day its been. And yes..... its been about two months since the last time I did cola. I dont generally think about it until someone brings it up. But hey its been two months, Yay for that. i was talking about it the other day at work to and wanted it then also. I want it as much as I dont. I really dont like feeling like this. But whatever, I have my kids and I want them more then any other drug in the world. Oh and the parachute thing.... I swore that the next time I fell in love I would pack a parachute and that way when I hit the ground I could try to spare my heart breaking.