I look up and watch our reflections
Fascinated by our movements
Swallowed in complete pleasure
Consumed in complete pain
I run my fingers across your back
Pressing harder and harder
Fascinated by our movements
The pleasure on our faces
The pain in our eyes .....

Yay I got to play kareoke (or however you spell it) person for the night. It was hella fun. Even though for the longest time there were only like five of us in the bar. We did a whole lot of songs we've never sung before. I did Living Next Door to Alice with mom and Under the Bridge and Last Kiss by myself. Oh and Blister in the Sun with mom amd BBB. I'm gonna be hella tired tomorrow but it was still fun. Oh and baby it was better then Christmas.... tee hee hee. Oh and I did The Morning Song from Jewel. When I'm lying in bed with Josh I get that song in my head. I guess its a good thing. I dont know I have a lot of mixed feelings about the whole situation. I cant quiet pin-point it though. It's probably just me. Making excuses to myself why I dont derserve someone so good to me. I actually like it when he calls me silly pet names. Which os weird cause I usually make fun of people for that. I cant belive the school year is already over. My baby is going to be in first grade. I'm getting old. So its been pointed out to me that I look drug addict skinny. Idk, the thing is that when I look in the mirror I dont see skinny. I see fat. I know thats part of my self destructive, ocd whatever I have but what I cant understand is why can I know whats wrong with me but not fix it. I know I'm not fat, but its something I can control. I have no control over anything else in my life, ever. I guess it dont matter. I dont know if its a good thing or a bad thing but everytime I'm with Josh I like him even more. I'm so not ready for heartbreak but I'm so willing to risk it with him. Although I'm not used to wearing my emotions... if that makes any sense. Blah blah blah, yay! for Captian and saying stupid things. But whatever. I Should get some sleep b4 work. Sweet dreams ya' all!