Here I am once again
Staring down the barrel of a forty five
I just wanted to say hello
In a state of chaotic confusion
Depression and fear
I stand here again
All alone with my thoughts
And my questions
Wanting, wishing it all to end
All the people pushing
And all the people screaming
My head is spinning
And they all keep kicking and spitting
I run to the edge
I want to jump-
I want to fly
The tears begain to fall
And the darkness sets in
Black and White slowly fading to grey
Then back to reality
So here I am... once again
Staring down the barrel ....

Yay! 32-7. We kicked there asses. It was fun though. As much as I wanted to stay right where I was I did have fun. Yay and I made two home runs! The first one I walked to first base and the second one I actually hit the ball and made it to first, then home... Yay. I'm excited. Although I ended up staying at the bar longer then I wanted to. The weekend was good for the most part. Hahaha now I remember.... Ok so here we are in the back of his car doing.... things.... yeah... and this old lady pulls up with out us noticing her and just goes about here business planting flowers. So I've been thinkin boutit and i dont understand how she didnt notice us and if she did how she could just go about her business. Its not like I'm quiet about the whole thing and we we're the only other car parked there. I mean really, givin the situation what would you do? I think I would just drive away. It would be the poliet thing to do. Wow I cant believe how much i miss him already. Even though I dont know what to think about the whole situation. We had our first "fight" this weekend. I dont know what to think about it. It was... I dont know... weird. We've only been dating a lil while but what he said kinda hurt. I dont know.... it seems like I'm the problem in my relationships. I'm very self destructive when it comes to things like that. I've always been very honest in my relationships and I'm starting to see a pattren because of it. Wow, i cant belive its already past midnight. I so gotta stop drinking energy drinks. Anyways.... blah blah blah. I think I've bored you all enough. Night.